Friday, January 1, 2016


First, let me start off by thanking SKAD, for giving me the opportunity I had this summer. Also Stella, the creator of SKAD with an incredible heart for these teens. And my teammates this summer... Arthur, who was steadfast and a dreamer. Avery, compassionate and quirky. And Blake, the ever so funny and passionate. 


I never got to post an update when I got home this summer because my computer crashed and my creative writing capabilities come in waves. Short, tiny waves, frog jumping into a puddle kinda waves. Fortunately that frog has jumped today! So I've realized its hard for me to put into words how this summer was for me, hot, fun, hard, spiritual, overwhelming, rewarding, frustrating, humbling, etc. It was both good and bad things that enabled me to grow a lot. We were able to reach a couple thousand teens that were struggling with suicide, depression, anxiety, abuse of all kinds and much more. I am honored and blessed I was able to be there and to bring even just one persons darkness to light. None of it would of been possible without the support of my family and friends!

Now you may be wondering, Okay, what are you doing now? Well let me start by saying when I got home from Warped Tour I knew that I needed to be home for a year, until at least summer of next year. And while I am fairly certain the direction I'll be going in next summer, I'll be keeping the details to a minimum until it's for sure. But I do know it's going to be hard and necessary in my walk and relationship with Christ.
 Because I know that God has a testing time ahead for me, I knew the months until then were/are going to be a calm before the storm. A time of waiting, praying and learning to be content with where God has me. A season to "Be Still." Being still isn't something I'm good at, I've learned to completely trust God without boarders when I have nothing but a backpack. To follow his path with nothing but blind faith, so much so that it's second nature. But being still is where i'm REALLY uncomfortable. Being still is where I experience my doubt and distance myself from my Heavenly Dad. It's where depression so easily strikes and where I am weak. Little had I realized the last couple years (since I've come back from my DTS) has all been a time for me to experience stillness. But I never grew from it because I was fighting it so much. The 12 months since I have come back from Warped Tour and until next summer has been and will be when I  hunker down and let "being still" also become second nature.

But it was also going to be a time for me take care of some financial debt. I didn't really know what kind of job I could get that didn't stress me out in this time of stillness until I met the precious Williams family..

This family is my family now and I'm constantly blessed by their generosity and welcoming hearts. They were in need of a nanny and I was in need of a job and it has been perfect ever since. I love and adore them SO MUCH and it's probably the best job I've ever had! They make me laugh everyday and their house is so filled with joy, love and the Holy Spirit. So not only do I love my job, but I'm officially able to pay off every bit of debt that I owe. I'm starting 2016 completely debt free! Giving me more freedom to travel for missions and the ability to start saving for what's next. I've waited for this moment for a long time, so PRAISE GOD!

While my calling to world missions is constantly tugging at my heart strings, I'm just as passionate about missions at home while I'm here. That brings me to Phoenix Heart! My dear friend Brittany is the founder and President and I'm the VP. With a heart for the sex trafficking problem in our community, we started by doing a couple prayer walks in north Tyler around a few motels. 
Our first prayer walk and the beginning of PH
It soon escalated to a desire to do more. We came up with a missions statement, "Our mission at Phoenix Heart is to share the love of Christ through our community. Our goals are to raise awareness for human trafficking, street ministry and rescue to provide a safe place for these girls to lay their head. We are called to be the hands and feet of Jesus and to set captives free. We want to give them an opportunity to see what Christ-like love is and for them to rise from the ashes to see what they deserve being a Daughter of the King." Britt has a dream for Phoenix Heart to one day be a retreat type camp for girls and women getting out of sex trafficking. A place for them to experience campfires and kayaking and group counseling and all the love and unity camp usually offers. But that may be a year from now or 20, so we've decided to focus on what we can do until then. Like outreaches, awareness and working with other like minded local ministries. We're just getting our feet wet in the non-profit world but we have big plans! January we will be in the starting process of making an East Texas sex trafficking awareness video, starting monthly bus stop outreach and plan to start working with a few local ministries. All the while figuring out the process of creating a board, getting our 501c3, etc. I'm so excited to see PH grow from far away when I'm gone and help from up close when I'm home!

So that is what I have been up to since this summer and what I will be up to until next summer! I'll be posting another update when plans for next summer are verified to tell everyone what I'm doing!

Blessings - Carrie

Monday, June 22, 2015

Mermaid Warped Tour Diaries

I am currently sitting in a Starbucks using their Internet, because, if it's free it's for me! We've had a tiring three days, but totally worth it! The flight to LA California went smoothly and as always, Virgin Airlines had it lit UP!

We rested a bit and drove to our first stop on the tour, Pomona CA. Ironically enough our tent was placed right in front of the "Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll" truck! Hah!

The first day was awesome and successful! Not to mention dusty, they had the festival on a horse racing track so there was a lot of dirt. Everyone was literally covered in dirt head to toe!

Then we headed to San Francisco and had a super busy and blessed day! So many people came to our tent and wrote their darkness on a card to bring them to light and let us speak and pray with them about it. We are a youth ministry but every now and then we would get a mom or dad visit us. Two moms in particular really struck a note with me, one struggled deeply with loss and the other with a dark depression that plagued her and her son. I got to read the woman's card who was struggling with loss and cry with her and encourage her. Then the other woman wouldn't let me read her card until she left because she knew she would get too emotional. But I read her card after she left and immediately felt convicted to pray for her, so I got on my knees and started praying. Minutes later I saw them walking again and I knew I had to talk to her. So I did and it was so awesome! It was very personal and intimate so I don't want to share more than that, but she even found me on Facebook and told me how much she appreciated everything. It was so rewarding to know I could bring that beacon of hope for her to become closer to God!

Then we headed to Ventura California and it was another day speaking love into the hearts of the youth. All day yesterday we were rebuking satan because his darkness had a grip on the kids in this  particular area, and he was came back at us full force to the point where we physically felt nauseous at one point. But that's what happens when you're fighting for the kingdom of heaven! So please continue to pray resilience in our team, also for finances as we're currently struggling a bit. But we know Abba Father will provide! After a spiritually draining day I had the chance to sit on the beach and journal. So I'm just going to copy what I wrote while staring at this view! 

"I have seen more redemption and thankfulness in the last three days than in my entire life. To have the opportunity to personally speak life to so many kids daily is such a mind blowing experience! To be honest, I was wary coming on to Warped Tour. I doubted I could be the one to make a difference in a youths life. My confidence lacked as far as being a true disciple and making a true impact. The only thing that kept me from turning down this opportunity was my faithfulness in knowing it's where God wanted me. Faithfulness that was rewarded the moment I stepped out of the SKAD tent and spoke to my first kid of the summer. Words flowed from me that were not my own! Even in my imperfect knowledge, awkwardness and social anxiety the Holy Spirit used me. I cant keep up with how many beautiful girls needed to be told of their worth and princess status! From my weaknesses of my past I had authority speaking against depression, lack of self-worth, self mutilation, anxiety, etc. In my weakness I am made strong!" 

So that's what my time so far has looked like! Thank you everyone for you're prayers, support and thoughts, and I ask that you continue them! Love Y'all!

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Missions Update! Summer with SKAD!

This summer God has given me the amazing opportunity to go on outreach with SKAD!
This is also my first "missions update" post on what is supposed to be my missions blog. haha
So I'm real excited.
(I copied a lot of this information  and that photo ^ right off the SKAD website, JS)
SKAD is a Tyler Tx based (and growing) non-profit organization that focuses on teens and bringing their darkness to light! Teens are faced with a plethora of challenges (you may remember) like addictions, anxiety, identity, depression, etc. They're especially vulnerable since they're still at a point in their life where they're just trying to figure it all out. SKAD believes if you shine light in the darkest places of your heart, the darkness must flee. They do that very thing by hosting outreaches, weekly meetings, one on one mentoring and community events, all teaching teens how to shed their darkness! Every summer thousands of teens all across North America look forward to seeing their favorite bands at the Vans Warped Tour. And for the 5th year, SKAD is traveling with them! This is an opportunity to visit 41 cities nation wide & in Canada in order to talk and #bringyourdarknesstolight to as many young people as they can.

SKAD is fairly new to me, my best friend thought I should follow Estella Malone, the founder of SKAD, on Instagram. HAHA, Bree is always thinking of me, it's so sweet! But she had met Stella or knew of her and thought we would like each other, she was right. So what i saw Stella post was pretty much all my knowledge of SKAD, but I could tell it was a life changing ministry right away. Anyways while I was off foolishly doing my own thing bringing opportunities to God, he was working on opportunities for me. Well next thing I know God pulls a few strings and I'm sitting in an interview to go on Warped tour with SKAD, who had been looking for a local female YWAMer. I got a call the day after and I was in! But before they decided on me I went to my first SKAD "community outreach" which was unusually small and consisted of mostly girls except for two male leaders. The topic was "weary", and we went around the room all talking about things we were tired of. A room full of teenage girls i'm sure you can just imagine! But it was really nice, a breath of fresh air. No one felt like they had to be someone they weren't, and they were accepted wholeheartedly. They were free to talk about all the dark struggles of their hearts without feeling condemned and bring them to light, so that they could heal from them. The transparency I never felt I had as a teen, and that every teens needs. The world needs more places like SKAD.

The hardest parts of my testimony are the way they are because of my insecurities as a teen, as is the reason for many people's stories. I'm just excited to have the opportunity to talk to young girls (and boys) who have the same insecurities all across the nation and declare their worth! To  be transparent with them and love them when they least expected it. To bring their darkness to light so God can move in them.
I finally met the rest of my team last night via skype and I'm so excited to see how God uses and challenges each of us in our gifts. There's Arthur, Avery and Blake. During our meeting I felt like we had a great dynamic and God's gonna change so many lives this summer through us! They just seem like awesome people that I'll love getting to know this summer. The Fantastic Four!

I'm leaving for California on June 17th, but I'll be out of town from the 10th to the 15th as well. I'll be back around August 11th (my birthday!) and I'm sure i'll be longing for my own bed, my dog and a shower! We're traveling via bus and sleeping in that or the occasional hotel or motel. We'll have the opportunity to get to know a lot of other people working/volunteering at the warped tour so that will be awesome as well! I hope to post a couple blog updates while I'm gone but my computer stopped working, but I'll do what I can.

We do have a few prayer requests that I would love if you could join me in:

  • Unity among our team
  • $35,000 to cover outreach costs
  • The teens that will come to the tent this summer, that God would start softening their hearts
I have to personally raise $1,500 by the 17th, so if you could in any way help out with that I'm posting a link to where you can donate to me specifically (I'm new to the team so my name wont show up until tomorrow 5/27/15) or for the Warped Tour outreach in general. You get Tax benefits with this option!

Or you can donate to my paypal account with the "Donate" button on the right side of my blog.
Or cash or check! Any way shape or form would be extremely helpful! Every dollar counts!

I feel like I could be missing something, so if you have any questions, please feel free to ask! 

Saturday, March 7, 2015

Mermaid Grave Finds

So a couple of days ago my best friend Bree and I decided we wanted to collaborate our two blogs together, just for fun! We both decided since we love going to flea markets and garage sales and such we would take pictures of all the interesting things we find! Her blog is Take This to Your Grave, ergo combining our blog names created "Mermaid Grave Finds"! WOOHOO! We decided to go to the Whitehouse Indoor Flea Market on the cutest day to convey our love for our friendship, valentines day! LOL. We almost spent the day taking pictures in the public library, but I guess spending V day in the Library was just too cliche for us. We will have to convey our love for books another way I suppose. 

How cute is this front porch?! I'm definitely getting the valentines vibe! 

This statue reminded me of my favorite childhood game show, "Legends of the Hidden Temple"!
I have no particular fondness to skate shoes but I just really like this photo.

Here's Bree with our shared one true love in life, books! haha

This photo reminds me of a page in an "I Spy" book!

Okay, IDK what my deal is with photos of creepy dolls! I don't want them around me, but I really like photos of them. haha. This doll is pretty darn creepy with the holes in her head. And I LOVE this photo of the glassware. 

Here's another doll (or just the head)! But I also love the vintage photo and the buterfly pic!

She looks sad! Maybe that's why I like the photo.

Bathroom pic! haha

If there is anything worse than creepy dolls, it's creepy doll clowns! I like collecting some weird things, but I just could not have dolls up in my room. Maybe I can start a wall of framed doll photos!?

 Bree and I had been wanting to make tie dye shirts for a while, so we finally did it and decided to wear them on our mini trip!

What did I buy? A $2 map of the USA! 
Thanks so much for looking! Hope you had a great V Day and happy thrifting! 
You can find bree's post here, Mermaid Grave Finds!

Monday, February 23, 2015


What is ASMR? Technically it means Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response. But to strangers ASMR is awkward videos of people scratching on stuff and whispering that makes them feel uncomfortable. Of course, if you are closed minded to new experiences and aren't able to put up with a little awkwardness then that is all it is ever going to be to you. But if you can gather all of your strength and and put aside your ego (can you taste the sarcasm?) you may find an experience that benefits your life in many ways that you did not expect. Have you ever felt your head, scalp, back, etc. tingle from a certain sound, visual or experience? Many people claim to experience the "head tingles" from simple triggering sounds such as tapping, scratching, or the sounds marbles make. Those tingles are ASMR! This does not include loud noises, most of the time it's very soft noises. For example,  this video by Kenneth Lineberger on YouTube. This was actually the very first video that introduced me to ASMR years ago. I was having trouble going to sleep so I thought I would look for relaxing videos and this one popped up! Trust me, I was like "Okayyyy... this guy is whispering and it's weird, I hope no one catches me watching this.. oh, his hands are awkward.." but i kept watching and next thing I know I'm waking up to my alarm clock.

At first I thought I just bored myself to sleep, but I quickly found myself not only falling asleep from these videos, but relaxed and happy as well. Some people experience ASMR from intimate whispering (intimate, not sexual, please understand this), or even just mouth sounds in general! The sounds your mouth makes when you smack or pucker your lips or even the sounds you make when eating. For some people, me particularly, and I'm sure MANY other people, mouth sounds are disgusting. But when I hear them in an ASMR setting they don't really effect me. Some people say mouth sounds during every day life make them want to slap someone but in an ASMR setting are extremely relaxing. Some people (my mom particularly) HATES tapping, scratching and other typical ASMR triggering sounds, they might find them extremely annoying. Some people experience ASMR during a doctors visit, getting their nails done, an eye exam,  a facial, or any personal attention to them at all. I think our brains are like, "oh hey, I like this!" Now this is where the ASMR videos get weird, hah! There are SO many "role play" ASMR videos on YouTube right now, and let me warn you, they are going to be uncomfortable. Especially to a newcomer to the ASMR community. Yes, we are a community, and I will go into that later.. But because so many people find personal attention to be relaxing or induce ASMR, the videos do really good. There are role playing videos of getting your hair cut, your ears massaged, a variety of medical exams, etc. They even have "binaural" technology that make it sound real, and sometimes can even feel it, especially if you wear covering ear phones. My favorite ASMR YouTube account is HeatherFeather and I love her apothecary video.

I mostly love HeatherFeather because she's always so creative and uses many different techniques in her videos. In this apothecary video she gives you different pills to take that give you magic-like abilities, such as one that you can see the "auras" of people with and one that you can hear voices in your head giving you good advise. I can totally imagine "The Apothecary Plume" being on Diagon Alley from Harry Potter! And to tell you the truth, I've never even seen the whole video, I always fall asleep long before it's over.
Another trigger of ASMR is visual, possibly my favorite. It could be watching someone gracefully move their hands and fingers while they talk or finger brush their hair. Most of the time it's just soft delicate movements. Unexpectedly, I found myself watching "gloving" videos in order to relax. I don't know if anyone has experienced head tingles while watching someone glove, but I do know I get the same relaxing reaction. I think gloving is visually pleasing and involves personal attention. I'm not into Raves, but if you don't know what gloving is I'll tell you as much as I know. Gloving is what people are doing these days at raves, they have gloves with colorful lights at the tips of their fingers and they dance them around in the dark to achieve a mesmerizing show. I'm sure other circumstances make what I think they call a "light show" a bit more mind blowing, but to me it's so super relaxing.

For me head tingles are rare, it's gotta be something really spectacular to get my brain that stimulated I guess? haha. And not everybody experiences the tingles. Sometimes people even become "immune" from tingles because they do it too much, or it may become a habit. Most people say if you just take a little break it'll come back to you. But there are many other benefits to watching ASMR (and related) videos than your head feeling all fizzly. Like I mentioned before, it's very relaxing. Many people claim watching ASMR videos help with insomnia, anxiety and panic attacks. This is apparent in my own life. I have trouble sleeping every now and then but I definitely do not suffer from insomnia. I DO suffer from anxiety and panic attacks. Both of them have been the cause of some major depression in the past. When I would have a panic attack I would cut myself, burn myself, etc. It makes no sense to me now but back then it's just how I dealt with those circumstances. Since then I've been set free of the chains of anxiety and panic, and when I feel one coming on, after I've gone to my Heavenly Father, a good ole ASMR video helps me get back to feeling good again. Don't get me wrong, ASMR is no miracle, but the way God works is. SO, I HIGHLY recommend watching an ASMR video if you suffer from ANY of these problems. Especially if you want to skip the medicine route to these problems. I'm currently converting to an all natural lifestyle and it's a great alternative to sleeping or depression pills, if you want to try it. (Please talk to your Doctor before you decide you want to stop taking a prescription!)

The ASMR community. It's nothing explicit, just people who share an interest in ASMR. That includes people who make the videos and people who like to watch the videos. We are an online community, at least I've never heard of an actual home community of people all creating ASMR experiences for one another, even though that would be awesome! It would be so quiet, we'd all be whispering in each others ears and giving massages and drawing on each others skin, ha! {Maybe we could combine with the Tiny House community and wouldn't that just be the cutest thing ever, my dream!} We are a "community" because we genuinely care about each other, people actually take time out of their day to help you get tingles in your head or help with an actual problem, that's awesome! That's really a testament to what our community stands for, because really, we are all strangers to each other, but we're all helping each other out. The ASMR artist helps out the watcher and the watcher thanks, appreciates and encourages the artist and the artist encourages other artists. Does that make sense? Sometimes we even experience ridicule together. Most of the time it's from ignorant people who have no idea what ASMR really is and how much it helps people. They hear whispering and weird sounds and assume we're a bunch of freaks. I have a Vine account dedicated to short ASMR clips. A couple of months ago the Vine part of the ASMR community was attacked with hate. The ASMR hash tag (#) had gotten popular and was trending (this is social media talk). So some decently popular account known for his humor, made fun of an ASMR vine and it sparked all hell breaking loose. Most of our accounts were bombarded with rude/hateful comments and messages. Then some people (mostly pre-teen one direction fans) started making vines mocking ASMR with loud obnoxious sounds. Okay, whatever, the problem was that many people would go to the ASMR hash tag for their anxiety and such. So instead of helping it really hurt people. Eventually the first guy to make fun realized that he had made a mistake, followed by everyone else. But during that time us ASMR accounts sort of banded together to inform people and created an even larger community and gained lots of "new members". On YouTube, I've never looked at the comments but I'm sure the accounts get lots of hate too, considering how popular ASMR is getting and the sheer number of uneducated people who want to share their opinion. I'm also very sure that they get lots of love, if you send out love you're gonna receive it.

You can visit my account MermaidASMR here, or I highly recommend visiting Asmrlove here.

I would consider Vine and YouTube the two main places to watch ASMR videos. I know there are a few accounts on Instagram and maybe (big maybe, more like doubt) there are some on Facebook. There may be some groups on FB that's for people who enjoy ASMR and give advise or just chat but that's all I can see that being. It's not very popular on Instagram either because used to, the videos didn't loop. That means they didn't instantly and automatically start over. They do now, but you have to press on the video to hear the sound and I have always experienced bad quality videos on IG. The only good things I'd say about any Instagram accounts are now they DO loop and they're capable of being almost twice as long as Vine videos. So if you get the chance, it wouldn't hurt to follow some of them, I know a few of them are actually quite good! Vine is a great place to go if you don't want to dedicate a bunch of time in YouTube, it's quick and short and you can find a variety of triggers. Then YouTube is going to go a lot deeper, but you're gonna have to spend more time getting to the triggers. So both are great and have a separate time and place.

I hope you are thoroughly informed, and can look into ASMR with confidence. I have tried my best to include everything I know and I hope you can experience many tingles and relaxing moments. 

Sunday, February 8, 2015

Introducing the new logo!!!

Isn't it B-E-A-U-TIFUL? I've got an amazingly talented friend, Dara, who drew it up for me! It's pretty perfect, it has my favorite colors and a whimsical version of my favorite mythical creature. You might think, "Why 'Mermaid'"? "Why not 'Unicorn Missionary' or 'Centaur Missionary'"? Well because those sound stupid and "Mermaid Missionary" sounds pretty! I also love the sea, so it's perfect! It'll be great having a logo that people can recognize as mine. I'll also use it to refer my supporters to the blog for missions updates. 
This is going to be a short post, but I thought I would display some of my favorite pieces of Dara's available on her Society6 account here

 I love world maps and i LOVE the colors in this one!

 This is just so dainty and pretty and really does make me so happy!

I hope i get to ride in a hot air balloon one day! And I love those clouds.

If your a Harry Potter fan (which Dara is!) then you'll love this one!

 You can get these and many more images created by Dara printed on phone cases, pillow cases, computer cases, shirts, on canvas, etc! Click on any of the photos to bring you directly to where you can buy a print.

Thanks for looking!

Tuesday, January 20, 2015


Photography has always been a passion of mine. As it is for many people. I think it's the only thing I've ever actually been good at, haha. But seeing as art is always a matter of perspective, I could be biased. I love it even if I actually suck! It's always been something I enjoy doing just for myself and I really miss it! I haven't taken photos for what feels like forever so I decided I would post my top favorite photos!



While I am no professional and take pictures for my own enjoyment, I know a few excellent picture takers! Here's a list of friends I know that run their own businesses and would be excellent in case you're needing a photographer or just want to look at some eye candy.