Beautiful Warrior Woman

Well i guess i wanted to start this blog just to have a place to put our stories, adventures, experiences and dreams out there. Also to have a place where our supporters could keep up with us and go on our journeys with us in a way. After all, they have put in so much time, money and prayer into our journeys that they have everything to do with them. But i am not very good at keeping up with things, i'm a one track mind kinda girl and there are already so many social media type things to keep up with i feel like i'm already spread too thin. I've got a Facebook, Tumblr, Vine, Pinterest, Instagram, the only thing i don't have is a twitter. But i think i'll step back from those things so i can focus on this. For now i'm not really making my blog public just in case i end up not being able to keep up, but once i prove to myself  I can i'll share it. Also, I'm no grammar queen nor am i very good at writing/typing out what my brain is trying to say, haha, sooo.. sorry not sorry.

As you may have noticed in the beginning of this post, when talking about our adventures and such I am talking about more than one person going on these adventures. You see ever since I was a little girl God promised me adventure, and that He would be going with me. Everywhere i have gone, every mountain i have climbed (or not climbed, that's another story), every valley i have faced, all the fun or not so fun experiences, every dream i have, I have never been alone. One thing I know for certain, and always have, I am not alone. He promised me a life I could have never dreamed for myself, one only He could get me too.

As a young girl, in the fifth grade, i started to feel the darkness of depression. I felt so out of place, i longed for more and i was so unsatisfied with who i was and my life. I remember my two best friends in fifth grade were also very sad and we would just sit during recces and mourn the days when we were happy, which makes me laugh now, because it sounds so silly! Three eleven year old girls talking about the good ole days and how we had it SO bad now. But I had just experienced tragedy for the first time, a devastating dark affliction had happened to my brothers best friend and his family. Leaving two dead (including my brothers best friend), one seriously injured, one in prison, and one devastated. This family went to church with us and i know it hurt us all. I don't know how everyone suffered but my family suffered silently. I think there was a strong spiritual attack of depression on my family for a long time, because i felt it. I remember crying myself to sleep a lot, or hiding in my closet wishing someone would come find me and tell me it was going to be okay. But while i was so sad i always felt this presence weeping with me, feeling my sorrow, weeping FOR my sorrow, longing for me to let Him in and heal me and love me. That he created me for great things. Then that carried into my youth and i struggled with self worth and hating myself and always thinking that bottle of pills would be an easy way out. Even then i always felt a presence of love i couldn't explain, saying to me, He had so much more than this for me. He created me for a life of adventure, of passion, of love, of beyond my wildest dreams, and if i gave up i'd be letting all that go. To finally LET HIM IN. So i decided to take Him up on that offer and i let Him in and let Him take me on these adventures, I let him love me and I love Him. And every day has been has been a journey of getting to know my God and His beautiful heart and diving deeper into understanding Him and loving myself because he created me as a beautiful warrior woman that goes where He leads me and gave me a passion to fight for other beautiful warrior women.